I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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