chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
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