just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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