if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Randomize
