the condom got lost in my hair
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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