Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
Randomize
