Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize
