I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
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