I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Randomize