She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
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