Kiss
Puke
Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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