3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
Randomize
