i just wanna soil my oats bro
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Randomize
