He disabled his match.com account in front of me
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
