:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
