# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
