why do cheetos always look like penises
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Randomize
