Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
Randomize
