Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Randomize
