Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
Randomize
