My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
Best friends brother. Beat that.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Randomize
