Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
