It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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