If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
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