mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
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