Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Randomize
