Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
