A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Randomize
