Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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