wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
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