Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
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