He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
