no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Randomize
