Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
