You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Randomize
