We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
Randomize
