im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
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