You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Randomize
