Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Randomize
