Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Randomize
