In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
