Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize