I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
