Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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