ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
Randomize
