if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
this hospital has no fireball
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
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