everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
