Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
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