Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
Randomize
