Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
