My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
Randomize
