I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
Randomize
