i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
Randomize
