He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Randomize
