This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize
