Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
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