I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Randomize
