I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
Randomize
