woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
