Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
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