you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
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