I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
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